71 years of life and still breathing. I am confused. What did I do wrong, that I can not smile and I just walk. I have never stopped searching smile since last time I smiled. Now, do not remember how it looks, what is it’s shape, how it feels. Just believing that smile is important to have because of the words my heart believes in.
It’s smile that moves stars and moon, moves shadows and sun, moves day and night, moves pain and sufferings, moves loss and death and most importantly takes you forward to enlighten the fire within you for good for you and good around you.
I try to smile every-time, I breathe. I try it even with my eyes, nose and ears but it is not happening with me. Feel like lost the mountain and even plain. Rain has stopped. Just feel salt inside me in excessive amount. Desert is the only land I walk now.
Fortunately such things has a well defined end. Time span varies as per your destiny. Just a day, a rare hour or an incredible moment is capable of changing everything. This opens not only the doors and windows as well it creates invisible cracks in every
possible walls to help sunshine to penetrate in my and your life. This is exactly like the moment that makes two into three during coitus in fractions.
At then, it was such glance moment. Chair has stopped rolling, So did I. Straight that was the position of my back and head. Legs were waiting to stand me up on their own. My entire life just stood up on my two feet. Initially it was tough to land first step. The right leg was slight up and moved towards left of it. After it reached at the half height of knee it started to go down towards floor area. It touched the floor far from its previous position. This has might motivated the other foot to move on against all odds. Both started to walk in pair, with real balance. They did not realize when walking turned into jogging and in turn it converted into running. There after movements of ankles became quick and they just had wings. Still sky was blue, no sign of rain. Mountain and Plain were at same height. There was something driving me somewhere towards a land where confidence stays. A place near to heart and far from suspicious mind. Again my wings disappeared, I started running then jogging and at last reached at some gate walking with my two foots. A gate by which I passed a lot in past. Still that big clock was mounted over there. Ticking sound was still audible. I passed by gate and started to walk on that path that leads me to a noble place. Green was the colour continuously until the parking place. Fancy bicycles were parked at parking. Then, I passed the community hall and prayer hall, my hands were joined automatically during that time. I entered into the main central building where I had my primary classes. I was just following my foot steps and my foot steps were pursuing my destiny. They stopped, I stopped. Both foot shared a eye to eye contact with me. They signaled me to experience something across the window on my left. I just did that.
A place full of benches, table, board, charts, quotes and most indicatively hopes. All fans were making noise, still no distraction at all. His sound was clear at all to his all pupils and even to me. He was saying…
“We just studied what a person can do if s(he) follows the path in which s(he) believes in with all his/ her efforts, sincerity and true intention. You all just think about the same. What you want to do in your life, What kind of dress you would like to wear and Why you have decided to pursue that profession. Take some time, then we will start.”
[[~~After some time~~]]
Pupil 1: Hello all, I would like to be a mechanic. Specifically a bicycle mechanic. I am not sure about my dress. I may wear gloves and mask every-time. I would like to dress my shop properly. I would paint it with fantastic cycle covers. I would become best repairer of all types of bicycle. I would love this profession because it will allow me to ride any type of bicycle any time. It can be street bike, mountain bike, kid bike, ramp bike or racing bike. That is really cool for me.
Pupil 2: Hiya, I would like to be school bus driver, who drives yellow bus in all season carefully. I do not want to wear their usual dress. I would like to wear something funky. Probably I will wear different dresses like we normally wear on the day of fancy dress competition. I would like to be a school driver so that I can never be late for school. I can walk slowly, I can go wherever I wish. Then it’s my bus, my time.
Pupil 3: I would like to be a judge. Not a concert or reality show judge. A court judge. I like the dress they wear, as it creates solid impression of yours. Yea, but definitely I can not wear same black colour coat everyday. I would like to be a judge because all hear what he says. Whatever he says become rules. I would like to change school time first. School time can not be so much early. It’s crime with small, innocent and cute children. I will make it late immediately after becoming a judge.
Pupil 4: Oh, it’s strange but I would like to be a book shop owner, My dress would change everyday. It would be based on different characters of vivid stories. I have so many reasons in support of my decision. I would like to build a home by arranging my books in various ways. I would like to play home-game with them. I would like to read many books at the same time. I can touch them, I can smell odor of cover pages, I can paint them as per my feelings and my thoughts. I can touch them and be attached to them as long as I wish.
Pupil 5: Trin, trin, trin, trin…! I hope you all got the idea about what I would like to be, right? Yes, an ice-cream vendor. I will always have blue jeans and purple top with wings printed on front side and stars printed on back side with smiley moon face. I will have a big bell at the front door of my shop. People could play the bell if their taste has found ice cream tasty. I would like to be an ice-cream vendor because I love ice-cream very much and then, I can eat as much as I want. Even every-time I can save chocolate ice cream for my self. I will do funny tricks with them and along with ice-cream I will share happiness.
Pupil 6: Hey, I would like to be a teenager and always wish to be that. Teenagers don’t give a damn about dress code. They just wear what they like or dress based on choices of those special people, whom they like, adore! I like their energy. I would like to be a teenager because I want to fall in love officially. I would like to feel that passion of being loved my someone. I would like to penetrate through the confusing shades of love. I would like to dance in shower, smile in front of mirror, sing in the kitchen. I would like to live pass through different state of mind. Basically I would like to sense the current without touching any live wire!!!
Pupil 7: Hullo, I would like to be a beautician. I will have low heels rubber solves shoes, black paint, white top and navy coat. I will have long artificial nails with antic design painted over it. I will turn my hair always up but in style. I would like to be a beautician because I like to give style/ colour to women hair. I like to paint body parts splendidly. I can makeover a person’s look in no time. In a way I can make the world more beautiful. Even I like to talk a lot, this may be another dominant reason for choosing such profession for me to work.
It is far. I Know, just behind the horizon. Though, I believe I am limitless, We all are!!!
I would like to be a human, nothing else. Human that wears respect and unconditional love. Human that sings on tune of trust, satisfaction and deserved compliments. Human that eats compromises. Human that walks on promises. Human that shares similarity and makes everyone better person. This was about my dress code. I would like to be a human because I would like to pay debt of God by helping him in making his world as per his sentiment. I would like to spread butterfly effect in every atom on this sphere. I would like to breathe not only mine heart pulse but everyone’s who are attached to me. I would like to live parallel lives. I would like to see a smile in northern hemisphere standing at southern hemisphere. I just want this. Thanks.
I was sweating, cold was the season in hot atmosphere. I realized what was eating me. It was clear to me what I have to do next compare to all I did in my past life. For me to be a human is a big dream, so I decided to achieve small things wired up in human relations. I decided to be a good and iconic son, caring and supportive brother, an innocent and honest friend, a loving, open minded and faithful husband, an integral, tough, friendly father. I was thinking about all these while walking along with my two foots on a way back to home. I was neither feeling weight of my body nor of my thoughts, sky was full with heavy clouds, it was just about to rain. All the plants and tress were singing happy songs to welcome rain. Mountains were higher than plain at their usual height.
Now, I am not just passing off my breathe but now I am alive and awake!