Thank you

When I started it was 14th June, 2012 9:07:34 PM and when it finished it was 15th June, 2012 6:13:23 AM. Now, I am writing that. It was completely more than 9hours when I was used to be speechless with all my conscious. I just want to hear myself and the nature, nothing else. It was the time when I want to find a single moment and couples of moments were flashing, collapsing on me on my heart.
These moments were all about, what left unsaid in my till second life. It was regarding saying sorry to all that people who knows and who even doesn’t know that I have hurted them, saying thank you who deserve for all their kindness towards me for making my bare moments into lavishing moments, and most importantly hearing a louder thank you from others whom I have madly, deeply consider as my people for all those things I did for that and they even know and feet it.
During this try out times, sometimes I felt that I was crying but I never got a single tear on my cheek so, to assure my belief I verified it using an instance of mirror but I failed. I never got a single tear anytime. So, what about my feeling???
During this try out times, couple of times I felt that I may get a heart attack kind things which are shown up in the movies, but as I consider my previous point I came to harmonize that you will need a real heart to feel the feeling and even to get a heart attack!!!
So, here I have some questions
Why do some people never feel lonely although they have few friends?
Why do we some people feel lonely although they have lots of friends?
Why we sometimes feel lonely in spite of being with lots of people?
Only one word could provide an answer to these questions, this word is “Intimacy”.
Intimate relationships are the ones people share their deep feelings and emotions with. If you have hundreds of friends but your relationship with them is superficial then you will still feel lonely. If you have true intimate relationships with two of your friends then you won’t be carving for intimacy and that could help you to falling in love with yourself, even.
Some people fall in love with just others because they feel lonely. Of course they don’t do it on intention but because their subconscious minds find no sources of intimacy it forces them to fall in love often to compensate for these feelings of loneliness.
What I am trying to say is that you could fall in love often just because you lack intimate relationships with your close friends, and more, more and more importantly with yourself.
The condition of being lonely creates changes which result in self-defeating beliefs and negative attitudes, which in turn generate a self-fulfilling loop of relationship failure.
People vary widely in their need for social contact and intimate connection. It’s the quality of connection that is vital, not the quantity. It’s very possible to feel desperately lonely even when surrounded by people, or when in a social relationship, and everyone feels lonely sometimes or they should. We’re social creatures, and that craving for connection is natural and not necessarily harmful, unless it goes on too long on the wrong side
My head clicked back to a 5 years of my life, when I relocated from Bhavnagar to Nadiad. For that move I gave up our beloved little house, my streets, my city…my ties to friends and family…
It seemed the right thing to do at the time and now also, and I agreed to all this willingly, as an adult, making what seemed like a sensible plan. Now, I am and my family feeling proud for myself as I started to achieve what I wanted to.
These all things happens and I survive from loneliness as I have made a habit of collecting real facts about another person, revealing ourselves to them and thereby slowly building intimacy and trust, stepping out of our ignorant perspective and immersing in their experiences and dreams and life.
So, at the end here I say, I want to say “Thank you for being here” to the people, the nature.
No, I don’t mean here, reading this post. I mean here, in this life, in this place. If you find this sentiment strange, I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s perhaps an awkward, simplistic, ambiguous statement yet it’s one I don’t believe I’ll ever forget.

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One comment on “Thank you

  1. I wont be able to express in english since my expressing power is not that great, but I’ll try in gujarati.
    Sau pratham, atli nani umar ma aatla gahan vicharo avva e j vat mate mare tamne khas abhinandan apva padse. Aj ni jivan shaily pramane loko mate ekalta – lonliness e sauthi moto prashna che. Te vichar ne tame sambodhan api ne a blog lakhyo che te vanchi ne kharekhar khub anand thayo.
    Tamara vicharo to saras che j, pan te sathe tamari lekhan shaily pan adbhud che. Tame j prashno puchya, k loko ne atla badha mitro hova chata pan kem eklu lagtu hoi che, te khub j vichar magi le evo che. Ane tame ekdam barabar eno javab apyo – k ajni pedhi na loko ma sauthi vadhare j khute che te che atmiyata – intimacy. Maafi chahu chu pan, hu pan ama thi bakat nathi. Hu pan ghani vakhat jivan ma avu j kashuk anubhavu chu. Pan, tamaro blog vanchi ne hraday ne rahat thai, k chalo, apde ekla nathi!
    Asha rakhu chu k, ame badha a lekh ma thi prerna laiye ane jivan ma j nani nani vastu o che, j ek bija pratye ni atmiyata vadhe tevo nirantar prayas karta rahiye. Sathe, e to asha khari j k tame hamesha atlu j saru lakhta raho.

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